Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Another Chapter

So I’m reading Lady Chatterley’s Lover, and I’m only on chapter six…? It’s one of those books I picked up because it had been recommended to me, AND I had read a an extract form one of
D .H Laurence’s other books. Of course, that was a couple of years ago when I was MUCH more into challenging myself and the people around me by reading (and actually liking) books that proceeded my mental age and capacity. Ha, and now, ironically, two years later when I SHOULD be reading things by D. H Laurence, I’m not really into it. That isn’t going to stop me finishing it though. Another book on my list…

And another chapter in my life. Well, as of last week I ended my high school career with a difficult exam and the tearing up of a load of papers and notes I had used just before it. I gave them to the wind; probably one of the most liberating moments of my life, at this point. We’ve all been telling ourselves, “it’s not over yet! We still have prom!” and other excuses to give ourselves (well, each other, mostly) so that we’re not as sad as we were on the official last day of high school last month. But after prom, we won’t have another event or day that the entirety of my year (almost) are together, sharing laughs. But as of Friday and our results day, we will never be together again. Thank the Lord is all I can say.

But then there is, of course, another chapter coming to a very sorrowful end. My older sister, Meg, is going to University in September, and I don’t think I’ll ever miss anyone as much as I’ll miss her. We’ll visit each other and things ALL the time, but that’s no the point. It wont be the same, we wont have those lazy Sundays, and nights snuggled up watching a film with a cuppa together… when we both should be doing work. I’ve gotten used to nicking her cloths and sleeping in the same room as someone. When she says out at night, and I’m in bed alone, the rooms seems oddly empty. It’s not like with friends, sometimes you spend too much time together and you just need a brake, because even if we needed one, we couldn’t really. Its almost like the other person is a part of you. And when its gone... You feel alittle skew-whiff and incomplete .

Thats Meg, with the Red hair.

Even though, just ten minutes ago, we were having an explosive argument about who gets the brown boots neither of us wear (she won and I stomped down here) I’ll still miss her. Its obviously not as if we’ll never see one another again, but just the occasional weekend isn’t good enough. I always pictured in my mind Meg being there for me to tell her about college, but she wont. I wont come home and she’ll be there with a pot of tea and some cake that we really shouldn’t be eating.

I’m looking forward to college more than many things (not as much as I’m looking forward to getting my nose pierced) because college means no uniform, and I get to study exactly what I want to study. But then it means Meg leaving. It’s all new this summer, and what’s going to follow. A new adventure , and new time to muse over what’s going to happen. Then be shocked at what really did.
I’m excited.

So, my prom was on 26th June, and if I’m going to be completely honest, it made me realise who my friends were. I think, throughout these last five years I’ve made many mistakes, but none as large as being friends with people outside of school who I don’t let anyone in school meet. That created a boundary to making truly strong bonds with anyone. Not to say I don’t have any strong bonds with anyone, about two or three people maybe. But when I would look at everyone else, they made amazing true friends they would keep for a long time, and I didn’t.

I had fun though. No matter all the revelations I made, and how much my five inch heels killed me by the end of the night. Here’s a picture of me before I left. I have more pictures waiting to be developed though.

i got my dress at Stop Sataring, or Vistit the website Daddy O's

Love, E xxx

No comments:

Post a Comment