Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Another Chapter

So I’m reading Lady Chatterley’s Lover, and I’m only on chapter six…? It’s one of those books I picked up because it had been recommended to me, AND I had read a an extract form one of
D .H Laurence’s other books. Of course, that was a couple of years ago when I was MUCH more into challenging myself and the people around me by reading (and actually liking) books that proceeded my mental age and capacity. Ha, and now, ironically, two years later when I SHOULD be reading things by D. H Laurence, I’m not really into it. That isn’t going to stop me finishing it though. Another book on my list…

And another chapter in my life. Well, as of last week I ended my high school career with a difficult exam and the tearing up of a load of papers and notes I had used just before it. I gave them to the wind; probably one of the most liberating moments of my life, at this point. We’ve all been telling ourselves, “it’s not over yet! We still have prom!” and other excuses to give ourselves (well, each other, mostly) so that we’re not as sad as we were on the official last day of high school last month. But after prom, we won’t have another event or day that the entirety of my year (almost) are together, sharing laughs. But as of Friday and our results day, we will never be together again. Thank the Lord is all I can say.

But then there is, of course, another chapter coming to a very sorrowful end. My older sister, Meg, is going to University in September, and I don’t think I’ll ever miss anyone as much as I’ll miss her. We’ll visit each other and things ALL the time, but that’s no the point. It wont be the same, we wont have those lazy Sundays, and nights snuggled up watching a film with a cuppa together… when we both should be doing work. I’ve gotten used to nicking her cloths and sleeping in the same room as someone. When she says out at night, and I’m in bed alone, the rooms seems oddly empty. It’s not like with friends, sometimes you spend too much time together and you just need a brake, because even if we needed one, we couldn’t really. Its almost like the other person is a part of you. And when its gone... You feel alittle skew-whiff and incomplete .

Thats Meg, with the Red hair.

Even though, just ten minutes ago, we were having an explosive argument about who gets the brown boots neither of us wear (she won and I stomped down here) I’ll still miss her. Its obviously not as if we’ll never see one another again, but just the occasional weekend isn’t good enough. I always pictured in my mind Meg being there for me to tell her about college, but she wont. I wont come home and she’ll be there with a pot of tea and some cake that we really shouldn’t be eating.

I’m looking forward to college more than many things (not as much as I’m looking forward to getting my nose pierced) because college means no uniform, and I get to study exactly what I want to study. But then it means Meg leaving. It’s all new this summer, and what’s going to follow. A new adventure , and new time to muse over what’s going to happen. Then be shocked at what really did.
I’m excited.

So, my prom was on 26th June, and if I’m going to be completely honest, it made me realise who my friends were. I think, throughout these last five years I’ve made many mistakes, but none as large as being friends with people outside of school who I don’t let anyone in school meet. That created a boundary to making truly strong bonds with anyone. Not to say I don’t have any strong bonds with anyone, about two or three people maybe. But when I would look at everyone else, they made amazing true friends they would keep for a long time, and I didn’t.

I had fun though. No matter all the revelations I made, and how much my five inch heels killed me by the end of the night. Here’s a picture of me before I left. I have more pictures waiting to be developed though.

i got my dress at Stop Sataring, or Vistit the website Daddy O's

Love, E xxx

Sunday, 28 June 2009

Skirts, shoes and Sheers’

So my dad let me buy some new shoes on Friday, after i made a very sarcastic comment that, of course, he didn't catch. Plain and cute... yano, just me. I wish i could take pictures of them to shove on here, but i broke my wonderful camera last year and still haven't had it fixed. That's just one of my novel qualities, I'm not organised but i love order. I love cleanliness but i hate cleaning. ah well...

There is another novel thing about me, i own a whole load of skirts but never seem to stop thinking about buying new one's or thinking "i haven't got any cloths at all..." I'm currently craving two skirts, one from JoeBrowns and one from Dorothy Perkins.

So the other day i was thinking back to my English Literature exam, 19th May, and how well i did. I'm not really sure if i did get the A i deeply hope for. The only thing that truly stays in my mind is the wonders the poem we were given gave my mind. I fell in love with poem. i could remember many of the lines i loved.. i could remember the name of the poem, but i couldn't for the life of me remember the poets name. So, i googled "Winter Swans" and, obviously i whole load of drivel came up... frustrated i signed onto MSN to ask a friend if they remembered the poets name. Owen Sheers! THEN IT CAME TO ME! In that exam i knew i recognised that name, and i did! Owen Sheers is one of my favourite Poets and has been for a while.
i renewed my Google search, and Lo! there it was "Winter Swans" by Owen Sheers. and i realised i had read it before, and not in that exam.

'They mate for life' you said as they left,
porcelain over the stilling water. I didn't reply
but as we moved on through the afternoon light,

slow-stepping in the lake's shingle and sand,
I noticed our hands, that had, somehow,
swum the distance between us

and folded, one over the other,
like a pair of wings settling after flight ..."

That's my favourite part...
I could have spent hours writing about that poem in the exam, but sadly i could only get in two pages within half an hour. A huge shame.

Whenever i have a Poem reading day (when i don't feel like a novel) each time i read one that makes my heart of mind combine and swirl into complete incoherent feelings and thoughts in blissful unison (as most would know, a huge rarity for heart and mind to agree), i wish i was a poet.
Now, many people have done, and will again, say of course i can be a poet... but, well, no. That's not me, if i were a poet ... I'd know it. I spent most of my life (or my free time) thinking of things to write... or actually writing them. I'm a descriptive writer, not someone who writes huge metaphors for whole entire things and calls it a poem.

Anyways, my Gosh this is much just like what I'd write in my diary.
I'll close this off, with something i wrote in the morning when i was staying at a friends flat after a night clubbing. Everyone was snoozing on the couches and my legs were numb. so i sat up and grabbed my note book and pen from my bag.

Love, E x

Silent, cold, passive light seeped timidly through the tiny cracks left by the roughly drawn curtains. I lightly padded over to the window and drew one curtain a little, to peer out into the new spring morning. It was just as I had expected; light white clouds wisped over the sky, sending shy light upon the still docks. The light was not bright enough to create shadow, and so all stood in blissful contentment, undisturbed, and peaceful. It was as if the morning was sighing sleepily, slowly waking into a crisply bright day, though not quite ready to leave its comfortable slumber.

Saturday, 27 June 2009

All New

First a note; i made a blog a few weeks ago containing the same things that I'm going to post now. I had to delete that account because i was using an email address that had been disabled. soo here i am re-posting all the stuff i put in my other Blog. Note over.

So, I’m completely new to this, and I hardly know what most of the Blogger lingo is, let alone where to start. Recently, I’ve been thinking of setting up a blog, in which I can post things I’ve written to have it out there in the world, and not feel like I’m being ridiculed or judged.
I’ll start with some Basic info, then. My first name is Ellette, its Latin and it means little elf. I live in Liverpool- England (I don’t have the ridiculous Liverpool accent that we are SO famous for, though.) and I’m fifteen years old, soon to be sixteen. ‘Though, I haven’t felt like I’m my age since I was about five. I’m a natural blond but I’m sporting a dark brunette look to seem a little more sophisticated.
I’m one of those rare people (or it seems so these day) who would rather be in my bed with a good book and a pot of tea, than out getting drunk, for the sake of being drunk. I believe one should drink to experience the nice effects it gives one, such as being relaxed enough to have a good dance.
I decided to create this Blog now, because yesterday, 18th June 2009, I sat my very last high school exam. I’m free! And feel very liberated and elated to be rid of high school life forever. To never have to endure those cringe worthy moments of complete idiocy from all of those in my year who are not as mature as myself. I think I have brought it on myself, of course. None of my friends are within my age boundary at all, all being 18+.

And so, upon this momentous week, I decided to finally start something I’ve always wanted- my very own place in cyber-space.

I think that was a successful initial introduction of myself.

Love, E.