Work, Work, Work

My weeks cannot be defined into any one mood. Gloom and giddy happiness mingle together very frequently. An odd pair, indeed.

My inner poet is stretching her arms more and more recently, my English tutors are even beginning to tell me to tone it down. But its just the way i write, not a single qualified college tutor can quench my nature.

Such smooth revelations, cooling, calming, renting, retching… a life cannot be defined
But these incoherent imagines sweep our minds-
Hazy, fluttering.

E x

Thanks Gmail...

how lovely it is to not be able to access your emails! going all the way back to late September...

Such wonders that technology brings to my hectic Alevel life...

Lord knows what i'm missing with all those unavailable emails just sitting there...

And what a bad Blogger i am, hardly posting at all, without a memory card for my camera (lost on a resent Drunken Excursion...) i cannot post some of my favourite Winter outfits. I wait all year to drag out my coats and jumpers...

Though they have been handy in making me look good for a full day of learning and a full night of drinking (Gosh, i love student life..)

No writing to post either, my life is full of dull essay's and 'creative' writing pieces to please my teachers, not to satisfy my creative needs!!

Anyway, soup to be cooked =D

E xx

Sundays...

And missing.

I didn't think i missed my old friends or my sister, until i actually thought about these losses. And bumped into a guy i used to know very well, but hadn't seen in a very. very long time. Looking awful and buying tights in Primark (oh, the shame).

I haven't written much lately, but I'm reading 'Enduring Love' by Ian McEwan, all because i have a friend who hated it, and so I'm determined to fall in love with it. Which i have.

'Though i have started some course work for English Language, inspired by a dream, then an elaborated day dream, and my embarrassing encounter with my Old Friend. Along side my desire to be plunged into the thick of winter, blanketed in freezing weather, and gloomy clouds.

(first chapter of a Novel)
Soft Regrets, Harsh Reforms


With dejected abandon, a dark figure of a man yielded to a simple falter of feet upon uneven ground and fell harshly onto freezing, gravely ground. Fists clenched, knees bent, chest heaving. Then, those dirty, slightly aged hands fanned out, and rested upon the dirty terrain. He did not notice each little harsh piece of stone dig through his trousers creating tiny pinpricks through his skin and shy droplets of blood seeping through the fabric.
Though the pain was profound, it only mingled into the aching, stretching pain within his chest. The hulking man’s motions were manic and agitated; he moved quickly, sharply- always. Standing roughly, he began to pace toward unknown destinations, and traced over some last moments shared with a particular person. Starting with the pin-prick moment on the time map, following his detached imagining of a picture that will forever stay; the beginning of a renting end.

*
Thick paper files slumped upon smooth wooden flooring, then slid inches away from little feet encased in creamy laced up heeled shoes. The feet shifted slightly, while the owner’s hands regained natural position, instead of a lax holding position for where the files had been moments before. The little figures eyes just skimmed over the book selves before her, wide startled eyes fixed mirroring shocked eyes, yards and yards away, standing paralysed just inside those automatic doors, causing them to stay open, letting in the cruel, heavy November rain.
Each shocked souls mind worked frantically, making decisions; with similar results. They acknowledged each other, a greeting could not be avoided… but the greeting they had both hoped for could not be achieved, both hoping for a smooth encounter in which either one could create good impressions. This was now impossible. This once easy going, handsome man with the easy humour and enchanting smile is torn down to a shy, shaking wreck by the presence of a certain soul, and easy laugh. A woman who posses an exuberant air, welcoming eyes, simple confidence, melts and quivers with the eye contact received by one, certain, particular male.
Robert watched the little significant figure drop down out of sight; he almost laughed. He took stiff steps away from the doors (vague recognition of an authority telling him to go or stay). He smiled- a stiff, numb smile- as trembling hands grappled at fallen papers, all those feet away; her hands, hands he once knew so well, hands he missed so, so dearly. The little clumsy movements told him she was not avoiding him, and so Roberts long legs walked what seemed like a stretching mile. Step by step he took, the long carpeted stretch of air between them seemed to create a tunnel, a long, ever moving, stretching, tunnel whose air became increasingly stuffy, the deeper his legs moved him. This tunnel, a heavy bane, weighing upon him had an end, not an end with wonderment and amazing Light, but a tunnel whose entrance or escape was obscured by murky fog… light and freedom out there, a promise of euphoric brightness out of reach. Its end was not answers, but a little crouched figure struggling to pick up the fat files she had dropped.
His feet slowly stepped, foot by foot, beside her hands, which stopped stirring. Rose stared at those familiar boots, then- they both registered the cliché nature of such a moment of motions- as his knees bent slowly down, her eyes followed up his body to find similar searching eyes.
As warm retreats in the dead months of winter are, when the rain falls harshly upon innocent ground, beautiful solaces become places of rowdy and restless atmospheres. Hot and stuffy, brimming with those seeking refuge, a place, the home to oceans of thought, deeply mysterious and the source of some great pieces… Become a throbbing heart of thick air. Weighing pressure sifted heavily down over their heads, entangled with the jolting pains in their hearts, the shortness of breath and tightness inside their throats, each blank mind somehow rapidly working to capture coherence, decision, and audible dialogue.
He considered his words slowly, carefully- cautiously- then asked; “When do you finish here?”
“Erm,” Rose began, mind whirring to figure out Robert’s purpose here- and to retrieve her working hours from inside her rumbled head, on this lonely Thursday afternoon. “Six” she said, almost sceptically, though stammering, eyes faltering and hands shakily moving here fringe unnecessarily upwards.
The pair straightened up, averting their eyes, each uncertain and thrown by each other’s uncharacteristic assertion. Robert nodded, jaw set, hands re-shoved inside his coat pockets- then turned abruptly and squelched back into the deepening gloom of rain.
Those next two hours swept away in a confused, angry, shocked, nervous blur- on both their parts. So uncertain of what the other would do, what they themselves planned to do. The earth seemed to focus down to this location, all other importance gone, all other people places, problems; the entire earth now consisted of this city, this library, one person working inside it, the other stalking the surrounding area. Pacing, contemplating, walking away, then returning to it. Over and Over. Just this building, nothing but a structure of bricks, a structure without importance; only how it holds two people together in terrified uncertainly.
It would be wonderful to say this pair held pretences of deep love for each other, but they did not. Perhaps each of them wished such deep feelings towards one another, as that would be the favourable solution; neither could lie… neither could stretch to even wish the other felt such things. Though they know down on paper a future of perfection and happiness would or should be all too possible, such compatibility hindered them, obscured them, brought them into a simple place of love that neither could appreciate fully. Neither were satisfied. This may be a feeble reason for an incredibly potent and intense brake up, but here lies a prime example of ridiculous human nature.
This strange couple, couple of what is unknown, have not yet decided where they are to go, physically at this point in the tale, and how to approach the situation. Resolve appears to be on their minds… repairs not only wanted as an obligation, but as a strong desire.

E x

A few Thoughts

this dejection from life will end- the dear earth will welcome me again, and all its inhabitants will once again notice the little figure learning quietly- snuggled within her cosy corner and pretty cardigans.

Now for some things i have written, (no titles- just snippets)

Swing and sigh, and call and cry…
Shadowland may only be minutes away-
for the world lurches quickly-
Dear one, haste shall not carry through,
Longing and yearning,
and weeping and missing makes the beating vessel weak;
No prosper
No glee.
Only renting grief.

E X

October

Outfit to honor the ends of September.
Cardigan and Skirt; H&M

Boots, Belt, Bangle; vintage

Bag; Next

ilovetea Necklace; Present

My welcome to the October Rain.

Skirt and Jacket; H&MTights; Debs Boots; Clarks Scarf; Vintage

Curls; mybed.

And so the rain comes, light, hard, cold, warm, ugly, beautiful, inviting… gloom evoking.
Dear Rain, numb my feet, chill my heart, soak my skirt, leave your residue upon the roads, create such shields between myself, and those fleeing from your glory- I do not fear thee… continue such obscurity, for nothing more is valued.

It's been two very, very long weeks. I'm not quite sure whether its been good long or bad long, its just been long. I love what I'm studying, and am now going to paste in some of my homework. Sometimes i love what I've written, and it only gets shared with my tutor, and sometimes my class mates, which admittedly is very embarrassing.

Interior Monologue

I could not visualise a way away from such deep feeling. Like an all consuming love affair, there seemed to be no end, except somewhere in my mind I was aware the exist was only some meters away. Similar to an all consuming love, I did not want to accept such easy ending was just too possible, this feeling needed to live on eternally. ’Though, again I knew, the exhibition ended in September, and would move away for good. This was my summer romance.
How blissful it feels, to lay here, on sumptuously soft carpet, which sags under my relaxed weight, surrounded with souls who are feeling the same intense serenity as I am. I have never dreamt of such an experience, never mused over the depth of feeling art could induce. As a lover of art, I have been an avid visitor to galleries, ever since being a little girl. But this, this is something entirely different, a tangible sense of connection with such wondrous images never felt before. And to stumble across this where I did is a surprise in itself.
I repeated the artists name again and again in my head, Pipilotti Rist, until it too seeped in, overwhelming just like this room and its effects. I have fallen in love with these images, this strange eclectic soundtrack; a combination of human sound and melody. Such smooth overlaps and fades of videos, of moving figures, of harshly contrasted sun and nature, swaying, sweeping, singing in motion. Nothing else existed, all but my thoughts, this soft layered carpet that graduates at the edges, and the little projector snugly fitted within the middle of it, delivering this dizzy calm, these intriguing images, filling this cosy room with a tangible atmosphere.
I sighed, arched my back in comfort then dislodged my hand from the manic curls atop my head. Unlike usual, the normal instinctual movements of the human body needed to be thought. It would have seemed abnormal to urge myself to flex a foot, instead of just doing it, if I didn’t care about anything other than this bliss. It was just like what I assume being high feels like, though a serene, calm and smooth high.
My friends had not accompanied me on this jaunt to the rooms filled with glorious wonder, those who found this treasure with me, I fear, did not find its depth and wonder as gripping as I. And so, I return in solitary company, slipping further and further into my own thoughts, taking the reconnected mind and body along together for this journey.
My peripheral vision detected reluctant movement, and a soft voice penetrated the air, calling softly, though speaking words I dreaded to hear. “Sorry, miss, the exhibition closes now.” I inwardly swore, and cautiously moved my legs sideways and off the elevated carpet. My vision became corrupted with white fuzziness. Knees wobbly, feet faltering, I lent against the wall dejected from life, slipped my feet into shoes and let me legs carry me away from that building. Outside the grey and glass, I felt isolated from the world, my mind separate from all other workings of humanity, thoughts too profound, yet too incoherent.
And so this day ends, farewell till another, I think to that softly dark room and all its wonders. Until I find myself on the brink of needing the fix- I will return. It was my addiction, my summer romance, a substitute to another addiction, a substitute that cannot last, that will end while it is still good.

Word count; 596

I am inundated with work, and yet we have not received any coursework yet. The mornings prove to be cold and difficult, something a cup of tea cannot cure. When my head lightens and floats away from logic with the early morning cigarette, i feel even more apart from those commuting, moving, learning and laughing in the building that i am.

My mind cannot even stretch to create a look to which calls softly that i am not just another English student who thinks she has style. Elle will just appear casual and lost, behind that convincing fake smile and easy laugh.

Gloomy Sunday

Though its not Sunday, nor was my Sunday gloomy. My Sunday was full of giggles and fun, all the while something too shocking loomed just ahead of us, so unseen, so un-thought of. returning home after what was a perfect day, home to cosy room and awful news.

A friend of ours died, bringing down such huge realisation's, and shocks upon us. Many words were on our lips, though hardly anything was said. Our friends don't die, but one of our friends died. Our Sunday was perfect, while all that time a lovely person could not be laughing somewhere else too. It could have been anyone, someone closer to me.

Beautiful, cool dappled light surrounded us all day, sometimes bright, sometimes kind and soft.

It was a lovely day.
Monday i wore this;

Dress; PopBoutique,

Cardigan& Belt; H&M

Boots;Ebay

Bag; Next

Bangle; Mums Vintage

E x

Friday feeling

Or lack of Friday feeling. I see 'The Friday Felling' as a feeling of new found freedom felt each Friday... and I'm really not feeling it.

With just one lesson in college today, i found making myself look nice pointless, as not that many people were going to see me.

I got my new Laura Ashely Cardigan i bought from ebay the other dayyy. Its so lovely!

My resent buys incluuuude;

This Lipsy Skirt from Asos,

And these groovy boots from Clarks.

Today i Wore;

Peplum Dress; NewLook

Shoes&Black top; H&M

Hand Knitted purple Scarf; Collinatte Point 5

Sorry my hair looks a mess like i didn't do anything with it, as thats becasue my hair was a mess and i didn't do anything with it ;D

SEEE?

Lovely, Lovely homework to do, sweeties to be eaten.

E x

Sunday Lovin'

September days have proved to be the essence of the ultimate Grey area. Since i received my GCSE results I've been doing some more waiting to get this next section of 2009 started. I've been in Limbo! just waiting to start doing something!

And finally, i officially start college tomorrow, armed with too many pens, big blue eyes, and a cloud of perfume.

Apart from some confusions and mix ups with my timetable that will surely carry on for a few weeks, I'm confident(ish) that college will be smooth sailing.

I do admit to suffering from nerves. I'm quite shy, and i think I'll be inadequate with my making new friends skills. I haven't had to make new friends for a couple of years!

The only two people i chatted to a little on induction day were nice, and i only approached them to use a lighter :S

Anyway, i'll take a picture of my 'fisrt day of college' outfit tomorrow!

E x

So Ell, What did you learn today?

*ponders* Not to leave cups of Tea on the floor by your bed, RIGHT next to your beautiful new Bag.

and it didn't just happen once. OHO NO! i knocked over a cup of coffee onto my new bag, then a cup of tea a couple of hours later.

Now then, about my new bag... i fell in love with it the SECOND i noticed it, sitting all alone on a lower shelf in Next, begging me to give it a home.

It's so damn perfect!! It's big enough for all my college books, and its Purrdy.

I'm also much further on with my winter scarf, I'm getting impatient for winter already, and its only the second week of September!

(please excuse the girly bed sheets and contact case)

E x

September Days

And so, finally England slips into my favourite season, the most perfect season. My mind is readily welcoming the thoughts of new pens and exercise books. that smell of new paper, the newness of fresh learning years. what ho! new knowledge to fill my mind!

I have loved Summer 09, but it is certainly time to make my brain struggle.

I have started one of what i hope to be many winter scarf's, this one is a sumptuous purple Collinette Point 5. It shall be thick and long. I'll take a picture when I'm done :D

College starts officially on Monday, Induction is on Friday. I'm very excited!

in addition the Autumn/Winter preparations, after induction day, one is going into town to buy stationary, a college bag, and THEEESE lovely boots

One is excited.

E x

College!!

Crazily enough, i am not sad to see summer go! because it means going to college! something I've been wanting to do for yeeeeeeeeeears.

I'm enrolled, did that yesterday. now all i have to do is wait for induction day =D and i start!

Enrollment was a tedious job, and the picture on my student card is awful...

ah well!

I wore this the other day;

Skirt; JoeBrowns, Cardie; MKOne, necklace; Dorothy Perkins

Worn with Purple pumps!

New Bracelet

Sundays

Those beautifully lazy, calm days left to be enjoyed. To be used in whatever tranquil way wished, wanted, desired, a day in which whims are welcomed.

A lovely day i have spent laying in bed watching 'The Gilmore Girls' on DVD, drinking tea and eating cheese on toast. not a particularly productive day, but I've decided this Summer will be the last i can spend doing nothing, the last Summer of my life i have absolutely no restraints or obligations.

Summer 09, the epitome of laziness.

I also had a lovely Sunday last week, spending the day at the Liverpool Docks. we visited Tate Liverpool, and there was a fabulous festival of sorts, in which we saw a fat man juggle knives while drinking a pint. At the same time a skinny man wriggled free of a forty foot chain and straight jacket. Such Fun.

There was a tent full of children painting, so we went in with hope of face painting (you'd never guess my friends are 19) and we found two huge drops of paper against one wall with lots of children's paintings and things. So we decided to put paint of our hands and put our hand prints of the wall!

Guess who's is the tiny one? It looks like a family! Daddy, Mother, and child in the middle!

And we bought sweets from the sweet shop on the Dock, and while we were eating, looking around at the water and the sky line of our wonderful, cultural city, i turned around and was drawn (literally!!) to this little accessory shop with beautiful bracelets in the window. i had to buy one.

I'll take a picture in a little while.

E x

What i Wore 13th August

I wore this today ^.^ One of my favourite outfits.

Cardigan; MKOne

Belt&Vest; Primark (:S)

Skirt; H&M

Worn with Creamy ballet pumps and Red handbag.

E xxx

Thoughtful Days

So I had a bit of an epiphany the other week, which I’ll copy in… its origin is a blur to me, and I don’t remember writing it either. Chances are I was either very sad, or a little bit drunk.

"I don’t see why people can’t see how.. I can hardly put it into words.
People are usually afraid of loving, yes? Because it’s harder to love than to hate, because being hurt is just too easily done, because they’re afraid of being themselves and showing people who they are… afraid they wont be accepted?
WELL, SO WHAT?! Some cynics say there is no such thing as true love, no one will ever fall in love, they’ll die alone… don’t they realise everyone falls in love? It’s the lucky one’s who fall in love with someone at the same time as the other. It’s a fact of life. It’s human nature to love people, to desire companionship… and to reproduce. That’s what we were made for! that’s what is programmed in our body’s and in our heads and in our hearts!
Why can’t people see this? Why can’t people see no matter where one goes, one will always find someone who loves one for who one is? Friends are everywhere. Love is everywhere. It’s just guts are needed to peruse life! Why be afraid of falling in love? If you get hurt… its not the end of the world, it won’t kill you. You’ll just learn."

Anyway, i felt like sharing my thoughts today.

i am longing for Winter. i know that it's summer, and its the 'best' season and all that... but i disagree. i long for chilly days to wrap up warm, and meet your friends in a cosy Pub.
I long for the cold blanket of winter. Its shelters, its darkness. I long to look outside in the morning, and have my windows reveal to me the darkness of night, but the freshness of a new, dark day. I want to shiver and shake outside. I want to watch my breath before me, like sparkling blocks of steam. I want the rain to crash onto the earth, not flitter down softly, softly like snow. I want it to come down in destructive sheets, not float kindly upon the ground. I want layers upon layers of cloths to make a pretty barrier between me and the world. I want to encase my feet with tights, and socks, and boots that click upon the pavement and create an obstacle while walking on icy ground.

This Summer has not been a total flop though, there have been some nice drunken excursions.

I have other photo's on my camera, but i can't seem to find the upload lead... I'll add them on here along side a picture of what i wore when i find it.

Edit;

What i wore;

Dress; PopBoutique

Belt; Vintage

Shoes; Red Or Dead

Earrings; Dorothy Perkins

Love E xx

Lazy Days

The other day we ran out of tea bags (a regular occurrence in my house, as i simply drink tea and nothing else...almost.) and so i decided that instead of just popping into the local shop, I'd walk to Sainsburys.

Which, of course, called for me to look nice.

i wore;

Blue Peplum Dress; NewLook

Red Cardigan; MKOne

Red Shoes; Dorothy Perkins

Vintage Beret; Harrods (obviously not bought vintage, it was my mothers)

I Love Tea Necklace& Red HangBag= Presents.

The other week i bought some new shoesss =D

H&M

H&M

Dorothy Perkins

I love them all!

I think i like H&M :S

bhahahahaha.

I also got out three new books from the Library; 'Revenge of the Wedding Planner' , 'A Long Long Way Down', and something i foolishly can't remember the name of!

Love E xxx

What i Wore 18th July

Dress; PopBoutique

Belt; Vintage

Shoes; H&M

Watch Pendant; Present- jeweller.

This is what i wore yesterdayyy, you'd probably think i was too hot with it being the middle of July. HA. No such bad look. that's what i love about England, this time of summer for us usually turns rainy and windy; my favourite kind of weather.

I teamed it with a red handbag, and leopard print umbrella. =D

E xxx

Sunny Days

Now that its summer, and my mind has nothing to make it struggle, I have realised I’m not writing. I’m always writing, but when I’m not around things of inspiration… I don’t find my thoughts are making detailed descriptions of my surroundings.
This must be fixed!

Anyway, it was my 16th the other day (13th) and the day before I went for a picnic with some friends. It was a wonderful day, we ate, drank, played cards, and skipped along the grass. this is what i wore;

dress; PopBoutique
shoes; H&M

Beads; Dorothy Perkins

Belt; NewLook

Sorry about the Poor quality, guyss.

And here's some pictures of the day;

there are more, but uploading takes the piddle- I'm not a very patient person :S

and on the 14th i got my nose peirced. haaa, i've been waiting to get it done for years, i just had to be 16!

its been a very calm, lazy summer so far, and despite a few things, i'm really enjoying myself.

Am going to do some more 'what i wore' posts soon.

E xxx

Another Chapter

So I’m reading Lady Chatterley’s Lover, and I’m only on chapter six…? It’s one of those books I picked up because it had been recommended to me, AND I had read a an extract form one of
D .H Laurence’s other books. Of course, that was a couple of years ago when I was MUCH more into challenging myself and the people around me by reading (and actually liking) books that proceeded my mental age and capacity. Ha, and now, ironically, two years later when I SHOULD be reading things by D. H Laurence, I’m not really into it. That isn’t going to stop me finishing it though. Another book on my list…

And another chapter in my life. Well, as of last week I ended my high school career with a difficult exam and the tearing up of a load of papers and notes I had used just before it. I gave them to the wind; probably one of the most liberating moments of my life, at this point. We’ve all been telling ourselves, “it’s not over yet! We still have prom!” and other excuses to give ourselves (well, each other, mostly) so that we’re not as sad as we were on the official last day of high school last month. But after prom, we won’t have another event or day that the entirety of my year (almost) are together, sharing laughs. But as of Friday and our results day, we will never be together again. Thank the Lord is all I can say.

But then there is, of course, another chapter coming to a very sorrowful end. My older sister, Meg, is going to University in September, and I don’t think I’ll ever miss anyone as much as I’ll miss her. We’ll visit each other and things ALL the time, but that’s no the point. It wont be the same, we wont have those lazy Sundays, and nights snuggled up watching a film with a cuppa together… when we both should be doing work. I’ve gotten used to nicking her cloths and sleeping in the same room as someone. When she says out at night, and I’m in bed alone, the rooms seems oddly empty. It’s not like with friends, sometimes you spend too much time together and you just need a brake, because even if we needed one, we couldn’t really. Its almost like the other person is a part of you. And when its gone... You feel alittle skew-whiff and incomplete .
Thats Meg, with the Red hair.

Even though, just ten minutes ago, we were having an explosive argument about who gets the brown boots neither of us wear (she won and I stomped down here) I’ll still miss her. Its obviously not as if we’ll never see one another again, but just the occasional weekend isn’t good enough. I always pictured in my mind Meg being there for me to tell her about college, but she wont. I wont come home and she’ll be there with a pot of tea and some cake that we really shouldn’t be eating.

I’m looking forward to college more than many things (not as much as I’m looking forward to getting my nose pierced) because college means no uniform, and I get to study exactly what I want to study. But then it means Meg leaving. It’s all new this summer, and what’s going to follow. A new adventure , and new time to muse over what’s going to happen. Then be shocked at what really did.
I’m excited.


So, my prom was on 26th June, and if I’m going to be completely honest, it made me realise who my friends were. I think, throughout these last five years I’ve made many mistakes, but none as large as being friends with people outside of school who I don’t let anyone in school meet. That created a boundary to making truly strong bonds with anyone. Not to say I don’t have any strong bonds with anyone, about two or three people maybe. But when I would look at everyone else, they made amazing true friends they would keep for a long time, and I didn’t.

I had fun though. No matter all the revelations I made, and how much my five inch heels killed me by the end of the night. Here’s a picture of me before I left. I have more pictures waiting to be developed though.

i got my dress at Stop Sataring, or Vistit the website Daddy O's

Love, E xxx

Skirts, shoes and Sheers’

So my dad let me buy some new shoes on Friday, after i made a very sarcastic comment that, of course, he didn't catch. Plain and cute... yano, just me. I wish i could take pictures of them to shove on here, but i broke my wonderful camera last year and still haven't had it fixed. That's just one of my novel qualities, I'm not organised but i love order. I love cleanliness but i hate cleaning. ah well...

There is another novel thing about me, i own a whole load of skirts but never seem to stop thinking about buying new one's or thinking "i haven't got any cloths at all..." I'm currently craving two skirts, one from JoeBrowns and one from Dorothy Perkins.


So the other day i was thinking back to my English Literature exam, 19th May, and how well i did. I'm not really sure if i did get the A i deeply hope for. The only thing that truly stays in my mind is the wonders the poem we were given gave my mind. I fell in love with poem. i could remember many of the lines i loved.. i could remember the name of the poem, but i couldn't for the life of me remember the poets name. So, i googled "Winter Swans" and, obviously i whole load of drivel came up... frustrated i signed onto MSN to ask a friend if they remembered the poets name. Owen Sheers! THEN IT CAME TO ME! In that exam i knew i recognised that name, and i did! Owen Sheers is one of my favourite Poets and has been for a while.
i renewed my Google search, and Lo! there it was "Winter Swans" by Owen Sheers. and i realised i had read it before, and not in that exam.

'They mate for life' you said as they left,
porcelain over the stilling water. I didn't reply
but as we moved on through the afternoon light,

slow-stepping in the lake's shingle and sand,
I noticed our hands, that had, somehow,
swum the distance between us

and folded, one over the other,
like a pair of wings settling after flight ..."

That's my favourite part...
I could have spent hours writing about that poem in the exam, but sadly i could only get in two pages within half an hour. A huge shame.

Whenever i have a Poem reading day (when i don't feel like a novel) each time i read one that makes my heart of mind combine and swirl into complete incoherent feelings and thoughts in blissful unison (as most would know, a huge rarity for heart and mind to agree), i wish i was a poet.
Now, many people have done, and will again, say of course i can be a poet... but, well, no. That's not me, if i were a poet ... I'd know it. I spent most of my life (or my free time) thinking of things to write... or actually writing them. I'm a descriptive writer, not someone who writes huge metaphors for whole entire things and calls it a poem.

Anyways, my Gosh this is much just like what I'd write in my diary.
I'll close this off, with something i wrote in the morning when i was staying at a friends flat after a night clubbing. Everyone was snoozing on the couches and my legs were numb. so i sat up and grabbed my note book and pen from my bag.

Love, E x


5:37AM
Silent, cold, passive light seeped timidly through the tiny cracks left by the roughly drawn curtains. I lightly padded over to the window and drew one curtain a little, to peer out into the new spring morning. It was just as I had expected; light white clouds wisped over the sky, sending shy light upon the still docks. The light was not bright enough to create shadow, and so all stood in blissful contentment, undisturbed, and peaceful. It was as if the morning was sighing sleepily, slowly waking into a crisply bright day, though not quite ready to leave its comfortable slumber.

All New

First a note; i made a blog a few weeks ago containing the same things that I'm going to post now. I had to delete that account because i was using an email address that had been disabled. soo here i am re-posting all the stuff i put in my other Blog. Note over.

So, I’m completely new to this, and I hardly know what most of the Blogger lingo is, let alone where to start. Recently, I’ve been thinking of setting up a blog, in which I can post things I’ve written to have it out there in the world, and not feel like I’m being ridiculed or judged.
I’ll start with some Basic info, then. My first name is Ellette, its Latin and it means little elf. I live in Liverpool- England (I don’t have the ridiculous Liverpool accent that we are SO famous for, though.) and I’m fifteen years old, soon to be sixteen. ‘Though, I haven’t felt like I’m my age since I was about five. I’m a natural blond but I’m sporting a dark brunette look to seem a little more sophisticated.
I’m one of those rare people (or it seems so these day) who would rather be in my bed with a good book and a pot of tea, than out getting drunk, for the sake of being drunk. I believe one should drink to experience the nice effects it gives one, such as being relaxed enough to have a good dance.
I decided to create this Blog now, because yesterday, 18th June 2009, I sat my very last high school exam. I’m free! And feel very liberated and elated to be rid of high school life forever. To never have to endure those cringe worthy moments of complete idiocy from all of those in my year who are not as mature as myself. I think I have brought it on myself, of course. None of my friends are within my age boundary at all, all being 18+.

And so, upon this momentous week, I decided to finally start something I’ve always wanted- my very own place in cyber-space.

I think that was a successful initial introduction of myself.

Love, E.